When teachers and friends leave and new ones arrive, how to help your child feel safe and strong.
Change is part of life, but when it happens suddenly – such as a friend moving schools, a teacher leaving, or a new one starting – it can be unsettling for both children and parents, stirring up all kinds of emotions.
Your child has built a connection, felt safe, and trusted their place in the classroom. When that shifts, it can feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath them.
As parents, we can feel the ripple effects too. We might be caught off guard, worry about the transition, or even feel a bit disappointed ourselves. All of this is normal.
What Parents Can Do: Practical Support That Builds Resilience
Acknowledge their feelings
You might hear things like, “I don’t want a new teacher,” or “Why did they leave?” In moments like this, the most powerful thing we can do is simply sit alongside our child in their feelings. You don’t need to rush to fix it or cheer them up. Let the sadness or disappointment be felt. A quiet, reassuring presence and a comment like:
“You weren’t expecting that, were you?”
“That’s not what you wanted, is it?”
…can help them feel seen and heard.
Children don’t need distraction from their feelings – they need us to walk with them through it. When they’re allowed to feel and express disappointment and then discover (in their own time) that they’re okay, they’re building a life-long skill.
Remind Them They’re Brave and Capable
Use affirming language such as:
“You’ve done new things before, and you figured them out.”
“I see you as the kind of child who can cope with things like this.”
These comments build your child’s self-belief and help shape a positive internal narrative.
“You were worried about starting school, and look how well you settled in.”
“Remember when we moved house and you were really nervous about your new room? But now you love it.”
“You didn’t want to try swimming at first, and then it became your favourite thing.”
Children benefit from hearing evidence of their own resilience; it helps them to feel grounded.
Keep Up Connection and Comfort
When things change at school, keeping home life calm and predictable matters more than ever. You might:
- Spend more one-on-one time in the afternoons, even just snuggling on the couch with a book or going for a walk together.
- Stick to familiar routines for meals, bedtimes, and after-school activities.
- Offer sensory comfort – cosy blankets, a hot drink, or time outside.
Help the New Teacher or New Classmate Feel Familiar
Sometimes it’s the ‘unknown’ that feels hardest. You can make the new teacher/student feel more known before they start by casually talking about them in conversation:
“I wonder what Mrs Corbett is doing these holidays.”
“I wonder if a new child will start soon. They might like playing in the sandpit too.”
Talk positively, but realistically:
“She might do things a little differently and that’s okay. You’ll get used to her way.”
“It might feel a bit strange at first, but soon she’ll feel like part of the class.”
Focus on What’s Staying the Same
Children often feel safer when reminded of all the things that aren’t changing:
“You’ll still have your friends (X Y Z names).”
“You’ll still play in the same playground.”
“We’ll still drop you off at the same spot.”
Naming constants builds security and helps shift focus away from what’s changing.
And For You, the Parent…
These changes can be emotional for you too. It’s okay to feel disappointed or anxious. Perhaps you really liked the previous teacher, or the family that’s changing schools, or you might worry about how your child will adjust. You’re allowed to have those feelings. However, try to keep your own conversations about concerns for adult spaces – not in earshot of your child. Your calm presence is what they’ll lean on the most.
While change is hard, it’s also an opportunity for growth. With your support, your child can build resilience, emotional awareness, and the confidence to handle life’s ups and downs.
Leah Corbett, Teacher and Parenting Mentor
